Urban Shamanism

Parting the Clouds to See

I've talked quite a bit about my experience here in Venezuela, how I've reconquered freedom in a land ruled by a corrupt mob and how Magic and Spirituality helped me with that. It's awesome to be able to write about this honestly, but it was an ordeal for years, because although I was seeing the signs, all I had in my mind is the fear that I was going crazy, that I was detaching way too much from the circumstances of my surroundings. Was I really seeing a different country that nobody else was seeing? And if so, why was I seeing it? What was so special about my perspective? Was that all in my imagination? I had to ponder these and many more questions, confirm them one by one several times. After all, the crisis was still rolling, the regime was still killing protesters and imprisoning citizens for dissenting, and the bolivar was losing every semblance of value. Public services were in steep decline and if nobody could acquire the things they needed but rather whatever was available, even if it wasn't in optimal condition. Venezuela was in shambles, so why and how was I living a different reality?

This fear increased by the reaction I was getting from the people I knew back then. They heard me but weren't listening to me at all, and were clearly put off by some of the things I shared about my experience. I had to set my concept of sanity on the table and take it apart, and I had a choice to make: either I believed and surrendered to my Purpose no matter the costs, or persisted on fitting in with the consequence of forsaking the calling of my Heart. I chose the former and paid for it with solitude and doubt for a long while. I wondered whether I was being judgmental of others and found that I was, so I had to work on my judgment. I wondered whether I was forcing myself into the processes of other people and realized that was true as well, so I had to work on my silence. All the while, the fear of estrangement wavered and started to become something else: a sign of inner work to be done. This shifted my perspective entirely and instead of shying away from fear, I embraced it as a tool, a compass that marked precisely where I had to go. The stronger the fear, the most urgent the exploration. It was this transition that allowed me to ultimately let go of the need for the approval of others regarding the path that I'd chosen, to forgive myself for being, to forgive the regime and to develop greater acceptance and gratitude.

If you want to live without fear you have expose yourself to it, there's no other way. You have to see what's in that dark room, around that creepy corner of your mind. You have to open that rusty gate and enter the haunted house of your dreams. It may sound horrible, but the truth is your darkness, your pain and your wounds affect you whether you acknowledge them or not. It's best to acknowledge them, then, and navigate through them with courage. What I've found behind my fear is the treasure of great Love, the Love for my Service and for my inner world, for all my practices and habits. The Love of my Truth. I liberated myself from doubts and hesitation about my practices and therefore, I learned how to use them with my eyes in possibilities. As a result, my relationship with my country and the world at large changed completely.

I couldn't have done this without the Love of my family, the protection and guidance of my Ascended Teachers and Ancestors, the company of a few great friends and Venezuela's environment which has taught me so much about depravity and abundance, separation and union, danger and safety. I'm here now, writing this in awe and joy because it wasn't so long ago that I would've laughed in disbelief if anyone had told me face to face that I could live how I'm living in this moment. Living without fear is the greatest treasure one can obtain and use in this world, and it can only be done through serious and dedicated self-discovery.

Night Rune: Gebo

Houses is shadows illuminated by indirect light. I reveal by aggression in the face of unjustified criticism. I see heaps of dirty clothes that vanish.

Daylight Rune: Jera

Return to your Heart, cleans and enable ways of connection and nutrition. Sow once again what you have reaped and watch it multiply. Your gifts and treasures wither and rust away if they remain stored, pull them out, use them, show them, serve the world honestly. Feel the pain and water the earth with your tears, the body is fleeting but Love is immutable. Breakdowns are necessary for transformation, firmness is forged in tension. Practice renunciation and receive in abundance, safety draws you away from possibility. Cycles cannot be accelerated or delayed, they can only be lived; be present for what is happening to you, be it beautiful or terrible. Kneel, accept the circumstances with humility and allow yourself to grow.