Urban Shamanism

I read this post on Facebook yesterday:

It spoke to me very powerfully because I just had one of the most important experiences of this year. A friend whom I've helped in her process of self-discovery for the past few months and who's been offering me increasing access to new circles, invited me to an event that she put up pretty much in one day. It consisted of a short Yoga practice and then a discussion about ancestral medicines. She wanted me to also talk about my Runes and I kind of did but not as a presenter. I did meet some new people and the place was really awesome. However, I felt out of place, like I wasn't supposed to be there. The shaman who talked about the medicines offered me rapé, finely powdered tobacco mixed with ashes and blown through each nostril, and I accepted. I've taken this medicine many times before but yesterday it hit me very differently. The whole event was a bit rushed since people came in such short notice and had other stuff to do, and I felt in that exact mood: rushing the process, trying to move around, talking to myself, distracting myself. I felt a strong urge to relieve and purge (that's how retching and using the restroom are called in the medicinal context) but didn't get to do either, I met serious resistance and wondered about it, but I still managed to be social and to work through the slight stomach distress that I was feeling. When the event was over, I did read a Rune for one of the participants and my friend took me home. As soon as I got into my house, I went straight to the bathroom and felt better, but still needed to rest immediately. My sister served lunch and I left half of the plate for later, then went to bed and slept for almost three hours. That's when the magic kicked in.

I had an extremely vivid and profound dream where I accompanied my friend to a similar event and then to another house. In the dream I tried to embrace her but she moved away until I stopped doing it and then she was the one who approached. I also tried to force her to do stuff like dancing or jumping into a pool, all the while questioning why I was doing it. It wasn't all strange because I used to be very aggressive, disrespectful and imposing when I was younger and I've had to work very hard to make amends for that. The house had many objects, among them a delicate clay vase whose color shifted across a range of earthy tones, which I often carried irresponsibly but never broke. At some point we were just sitting and the owner of the house, a woman perhaps 50 years old who was doing yoga in a different room separated from the guests, scolded me for some of my behavior. When we were about to leave, I once again had the clay vase and put it on the table, asking the owner if it was ok for me to leave it there. She appeared not to hear my question and said that she didn't want to take any rapé or other medicines. When I repeated my question, she gently took me by the arm and guided me through her home like a child or a blind person, and I allowed myself to be led through many rooms full of artwork and all kinds of curious objects, until we reached the room where two little girls were sleeping, toys scattered beside their beds. I immediately bowed to them in reverence and she led me into another bathroom, this one apparently out of order and very dark. The sink and the toilet bowl were filled with used electronics and wires, plastic converters, appliances and other stuff, all of them black. She asked me to pull a specific object from a blue plastic bag, an "$" sign that fit in my palm, then told me to plug it into an outlet that wasn't connected to any walls. As soon as I did, the "$" started expanding and deploying into a larger object, seemingly a computer screen or a wall mount for a TV set. Brown and white feathers started springing out of it and my eyes filled with tears, because I recognized an Eagle (a Bald Eagle, to be exact) and was overwhelmed with emotion, for the Eagle is a powerful spirit animal to me. I tried to cry but my mouth wouldn't open, the sobs caught in my throat. The woman then embraced me and said "You deserve this. Take it, it's yours."

I woke up and immediately sent a voice note to my friend to tell her about the dream, then ate the other half of my plate and felt completely fine again. This is a message that I've been receiving for a while, that I've worked very hard to do the things that I do and I have to stop second-guessing that, the main reason why I felt off during the event. It's not just that I deserve the rewards that I'm getting, but that I'm pretty much compelled to receive them so I can continue to do my service to the top of my ability, and that's where that quote above comes in, because I've taken myself too heavily for too long, and now I'm able to take myself lightly, to live more beautifully, to fly higher and, therefore, to provide my service far better than ever before.

Ingwaz, Manifestation, Intuition, Humanity

Presence. Focus your vision, dispersion weakens you, it is urgent to start to breathe consciously. Care for your body, pay attention to possible injuries. Link your memories and you will see the thread that you have woven, the story that you tell yourself is not the Truth, but it guides you to it; study the facts impartially. Exercise your authority first upon yourself, restraint and self-control are crucial now. Pragmatism must prevail over identifications with groups and ideas; opinions may in fact be wrong when they justify cruel thoughts and reproachable feelings. Do not commit impiety even in jest, the Universe does not understand pranks. Beware what you do and say, most transgressions and committed from unconsciousness and penitence is inexorable.