Urban Shamanism

The vast majority of people in this world reject spirituality as pure charlatanry, pseudoscientific foolishness and mad prattle. This is true even in deeply religious societies where the conception of divinity may affect laws and fundamentally rule the behavior of citizens, because the purpose isn't to guide anyone to greater understanding or to promote self-discovery, but to impose a singular point of view by which to establish control.

I've been called crazy by friends and family for what I do and it makes sense. We were all persuaded centuries ago that talk of mysticism, magic, astrology, the occult or God wasn't sound reasoning, that only science could lead to the truth. Moreover, there are a LOT of practitioners in many paths that fake their stature and use the trust that people give them for personal gain, sometimes opening very difficult processes that they don't know how to close or care to. There are also many genuine, powerful workers who become enamored with their own achievements and mess around quite a bit, with potentially more disastrous results than any charlatan could cause. Yeah, it makes perfect sense to me now that people mistrust these things, they're obscure for the uninitiated and easily perverted with complicated beliefs or selfish attitudes.

Although I've collaborated with others in ceremonies and rituals, I mostly work by myself. I don't boast about what I do nor attempt to sell it to the next person for a quick buck or some influence. I'm not interested in gurus nor am I wishing to become one, my focus is to always know myself better. If I can provide insight to people who ask for it, then it's my honor to do so, but I stay away from the journeys of others unless expressly requested to join them. You see, the temptation to gain prominence, to be revered and followed, to be depended upon, is very strong when one begins to really delve into these paths. I've grown aware of it within myself and I've seen it in many servicemen and servicewomen that I've met and respected over the years. The higher the Light one seeks, the deeper the Dark one must face.

Spiritual exploration isn't easy, there are no formulas for it and no prerequisites either. We reject it, not because we're sure that the alternatives for understanding the world are better, not at all. Nobody who reads this could ever come up with enough arguments or sufficient evidence to prove beyond all doubt that mainstream science is opposite to the occult or the one useful tool for the task. We reject getting into ourselves because it's scary and daunting, because it faces us with our demons, the dread of death, our traumas and resentments, our hatreds and dissatisfactions. Anyone who sells this as something cool and shiny, flashy and sweet, is either ignorant or a hustler. Oil snake sellers abound in every walk of life.

Noticing and avoiding ego-traps

In spiritual circles, the Ego is generally seen as the boogeyman. Virtually any person that you meet in them will at some point speak of how we must all forsake the material because our immortal souls are more than our flesh. This is a normal stage of self-awareness, but lots of people get bogged down by it and develop the mistaken thinking that nothing in this world is valuable, that matter must be rejected and escaped at all costs to join the Unity. That's not how it works, however. We're here to live a dual, physical, sensorial and phenomenal experience, we can't just bypass it and get back to God ASAP, it's not how this Universe is built. Every mystical system warns about this misunderstanding, because it can lead to serious issues.

Just a moment a go, a guy I met in Ayahuasca ceremonies asked me how he could reconcile his awakening with the fact that he has sexual and financial desires here in this world. He was quite confused about what renouncement and surrender mean in that context, thinking that perhaps he'd need to take vows of celibacy like a priest or swear off worldly possessions. I sensed he was willing to make that sacrifice despite the displeasure it caused him, but fortunately, I had a better answer for him: the issue isn't whether we have wants in this world, but whether these wants limit us, whether we identify with them. Anything that we identify with becomes a necessity and, eventually, a fixation, a habit. This reinforces the opacity of our existence rather than clarifying our paths.

Don't engage your ego as if it were an enemy. The name you have, the family you were born into, your homeland, your ancestry, your memories, your appearance and everything else that composes your persona is a vehicle, a means to explore and learn. Attachment to these things certainly invites suffering, because it occludes the truth that death is only transformation and not the absolute end of life, but there's no need to suffer, only our perspective promotes that, and perspective is the essence of Free Will, we can change it when new information is available. Your ego is a part of you, it has its uses and nothing else can fulfill its purpose, there's no point in trying to fight it or deny it, you need to integrate it. Whenever you find yourself refusing something out of hand, bothered by someone else's behavior, offended by a statement or opinion, hurt by rejection, fixated on an activity or another person's presence, you should pause and review why you're feeling what you're feeling. Hold yourself accountable, there are consequences for every action, whether you're aware of it or not.

Our ego selves are made up of all sorts of unconscious impulses and programming that activates on its own, we experience this material reality so we can make these codes conscious and use them to improve our lives. A healthy relationship with these attires our souls wear can help us not only navigate duality better, but also harness it to do things that we often consider impossible. When we approach the ego as a lie, a fake coating that oppresses us, that we need to escape, our perspectives lose coherence from our surroundings, that's a sure way to develop colossal vanity as well as profound anxiety. This affects everyone, of course, but it can be truly harmful when apparently supported by esoteric and mystical practices.

Spirituality can be a lot of fun and enormously increase the pleasure and joy of living, that's where I'm at right now, but it demands deep commitment, many sacrifices, remarkable attention and an open attitude to learning, a capacity to question our beliefs and ideas. We can embrace our egos and be our own allies, or we can reject them and live in a nightmare that we don't even realize is taking place. It's up to us and nobody else.